I’m not going to wear a seatbelt anymore.  Here’s why:

• The seatbelt is uncomfortable.  It rubs weird on my shoulder.
• I was talking to the guy that changes my oil.  He said that he knows a guy that was in a car accident while wearing a seatbelt.  The seatbelt didn’t prevent the accident – but he did get trapped in the car because of the seatbelt.  Important point: this oil change guy is IN THE AUTO INDUSTRY.
• I didn’t wear a seatbelt at all last year and I never got in an accident.
• Sure, you BELIEVE that seatbelts save lives, but I BELIEVE they are bad for you.
• What about before 1968?  All cars didn’t have seatbelts then.  People just used their natural defenses to keep them safe.
• There are long term effects to wearing a seatbelt.  If you drive a lot with a seatbelt, your left shoulder won’t be as tan as your right shoulder.

I’m kidding.  Wear your seatbelt and get a flu shot.